Tuesday, March 18, 2008

INTERNATIONAL MEN OF MYSTERY...


It seems 'Better Late than Never' is the new motto of the Stephen Harper administration.
They've once again made slow-footed, soft-intentioned disinterest a big part of their meme -- good bye 'Northern Star'!
Jason Kenney and Maxime Bernier are the two-left-foot soldiers for the hero of Canada's right flank. And even with the most generous, CON-serfative friendly coverage, the moronic duo are demonstrating that being 'over your head' and 'out of your league' is in fashion.
Meet Jason Kenney, gadabout town and Vulcan, Alberta's official mascot for the 2008 International Donut Games. Today he's in Guadalajara, stumbling ham-handedly -- and I mean ham-handedly -- into the Brenda Martin case. If you aren't aware of Ms. Martin, it's because for most of the past 2 years, our government has turned a deaf ear to her pleas for help. She's been locked up and denied any sense of justice by the Mexican authorities, who accuse her of being part of a foreign scam. Of course, Mexican justice apparently has a high reputation around the Harper household - it is a 'respectable' democratic ally, afterall.
Of course, if you read this story, you'd get the impression that Harper and his merry man were right on top of things. But try listening to Lisa LaFlamme's reportage, also available in the above link, where she uses the so-apropos descriptive analogy of a hot air balloon fffzzzzzing out. That's Kenney.
Of course, the cold-hearted bungling by this government on Ms. Martin's file is lengthy, including stonewalling and blatant disinterest by foreign affairs minister Bernier and his cold-hearted accomplice Helena Guergis.
Over the past month, Martin's health has seriously deteriorated, no doubt exasperated by Harper's minions inaction. Even former Prime Minister Paul Martin, in Mexico as part of a G-7 get-together, spent time with the ailing woman and offered support. He wasn't posing for photos.
Why has dithering Harper sent Kenney to the rescue? As secretary of state for multiculturalism and Canadian Identity, perhaps the rotund one doesn't understand that Martin is a caucasian Canadian. Maybe he's hoping to line her up with a temporary work permit, because that's probably the best means that foreigners can now enter Canada these days. Or its because Kenney can gamble that his ability to eat 200 beef chimichangas in 20 minutes will amuse the Mexican judge handling the case?
Or maybe Kenney's just going to try to put on a brave face and use his super human five o'clock shadow strength to wrestle the Mexican guards to the floor, ala Jack Black.
I understand why Ms. Martin's supporters may be sceptical, with only recent media coverage finally moving the Harper government to action.
But if Kenney pulls out a $1-million life insurance policy, my advice for eveyrone involved -- run.

Now onto Bernier. After a month of slooooowwwwww deliberation, including hiding in his closet, accidentally locked in his closet, and scrounging behind his office furniture cushions for jelly beans, Mr Bernier has announced Canada will recognize Kosovo's declaration of independence.
Apparently, 'hobbled' Harper was too timid to make a swift judgement on the Serbian province's declaration because of what it may signal to Quebec sovereignists. You mean, this wasn't enough?
Sometimes, Harper doesn't know his own strength, but its nice to see that we're leading the pack, well, leading in a way that 30 other countries have recognized Kosovo first, but Canada was thinking first!
Next week, Bernier will be recognizing turtlenecks as the latest hot clothing trend, 'Koogle' as a yummy new confection, and Brigit Bardot as the Sexiest Woman of 1966.

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