Thursday, December 31, 2009

THAT HIPPY HARPER...


From my buddy burlivespipe, a clever ditty to the music of Petula Clark's Downtown...


"When promises are broke
And parliament's missing the joke
You can always close - Prorogue!
If you've got committees
Making noise and getting sniffy
There's no better time - Prorogue!

Just listen to the talking points echo on Chas. Adler
Linger on that Liberals did it -is it any badder?
How can you lose?

The truth is no problem then
Forget about Geneva and do photo ops again and again
and go
Prorogue! Things'll be better when you
Prorogue! You're not accountable if you
Prorogue! The GG's waiting for you....

Why hang around
when Fox News ain't on the ground
and Olympic hockey's on? Prorogue!
The budget's blown and Obama won't phone
So tell the media where to go - Prorogue!

No one's accountable if no one's there
To watch you
Just act like nothing's wrong while Jimbo fumbles with his new shoes
What are they gonna do?

Those bills will just wait for you then,
Election promises cancelled by king's pen
Prorogue! Things'll be great when you
Prorogue! You're not accountable
Prorogue! The GG's waiting for you...."

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

DERELICTION OF DUTY




















With the convenient cover of Team Canada's hockey guardians, Stephen Harper has busted democracy's chops once more for his own personal gain.
With only the bare-thin lie of 'needing the time to make an economic plan' as its rationale, the CONs continue to push that 'the Liberals did it too!' filibuster.
As Maclean's editor and neo-conservative journalist Andrew Coyne sees it, the only possible purpose to play a second prorogation card in 13 months is to avoid having to comply with an order to produce documents regarding the Afghanistan detainee issue. Only the bleeting, bias sheeple of the CONbot nation could argue the point.
It means scraping bills that have been tabled and laws that were within a few hours of discourse from being enacted -- so much for 'getting things done', including some key law-and-order items.
Sure, Harper will be able to reshape the Senate with a few more loyal potted plants, flaunting his past principle one more time in the process. He'll also be able to allow time to distract Canadians' attention and diffuse some of the opposition's fire over what is truly a black mark on Canada's reputation on the World stage.
It's been an effective tool -- whether through the process of litigation (on the Cadman tape affair), refusing to answer to the will of parliament and even promoting faux arguments of anti-democratic coups (despite his own previous open flirting with the 'evil Bloc' for an exact same scenario).
In the end, Harper is playing Canadians for fools. With the support of the 'channel-changing' minions controlling too many pieces of the mainstream media, and our unstoppable apathy, it is likely a plan that will work.
I'm just waiting for one of Harper's foot soldiers to complain to the media about the opposition's ire over this latest move: "Liberals and NDP don't support Shea Weber*!"

* fill in applicable hockey player's name according to region.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

HORSE EATS HAT


It's time to see the CONbots demonstrate their contortionist skills again.
Turning black ink into red, wholloping seniors with a heavy tax, and stocking every crevice of the senate with unqualified CON deadbeats wasn't enough.
Now, they're about to see the benefits of Dion's Green Shift, courtesy of not-a-leader Harper... As usual, he's dumped any formal pretense of principle for the so-leader-like shrug of a meek carpetbagger -- 'Yeah, but what are you gonna do?'

It should get pretty interesting in those behind-doors CON meetings out west.

MOCK DUCK MEETS KETTLE...


... but when it's Stephen Harper, you shouldn't expect anything else.
He belches in public, then whines when anyone complains. He bellows in public, then attempts to shame those who do the same.
The international stage is no place for national quibbles, he mused in his annual pre-prorogation address. Of course, unless it's Harper doing the quibbling.
'Hey, don't dare be partisan on my partisan watch,' the desperately-trying-to-get-a-photo-op Harper implied.
Nice to see others starting to see him and his 'mock duck' act for what it is.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

A STAR IS BORN...


Funny how that works.
I don't remember other medical doctors becoming the face of a possible pandemic, but then again there aren't too many doctors like Canada's David Butler-Jones.
Like many physicians, Butler-Jones oozes confidence. He's established a credibility that is meant to comfort us, yet almost seems to the level of being more than a little self-aware of his impact. Again, I don't recall someone trying to be the face of the battle against SARS, Mad Cow Disease or even Irritable Bowel Syndrome.
Of course, it really helps when your so-called "real" leader abhors being held accountable. Just the passing chance that he could have to be responsible for something, say like standing up and announcing that he'll be getting a vaccination in front of the cameras (just as the cameras record his every breathing glorious moment for the 2010 CONserfative government calendar) probably put him in the mood to pound out 'Help!' except there were no cameras around to record it.
So what does an unaccountable, frightened of responsibility kind of guy do? He gets someone else to take his place. In this case, it's Dr. David Butler-Jones.
I don't know if the good Dr. has political aspirations, but he certainly has a good TV-side manner, a Canadian Marcus Welby, with the cuddly factor of Bob Keeshan. Perhaps Harper is grooming him for a Toronto-area riding, where 'cancer is sexy' needs a makeover. Remember Lisa, Harper is accountable to no one.
Thankfully for all, the pandemic appears to be not what we feared. Neither the public nor Harper's.
I'm eagerly awaiting the good Doctor's public service message on 'skin tags' next...

Monday, December 14, 2009

CRACKS IN HARPER'S COALITION...


...of the unaccountable?
With these corporations miffed at his decision to let in Egyptian company Globallive to compete in the cell phone market, there is some unhappiness from Rogers, Bell and Telus -- corporations who've been towing the line and cheering Harper's promise of 'business-friendly hidden changes'.
Now there's these: The rest of the world pretty much in agreement - Canada's government is acting irresponsible when it comes to acting on the environment.

- Unlike the U.S., Canada has no concrete game plan for achieving its targets.

- Former PM Paul Martin (the one who could balance a budget, remember the good ol' days?) says Canada needs to get U.S. to share some of the burden of oilsands ugliness.

- Premiers of Canada's two largest provinces demand that the 'rest' of Canada make same kind of environmental targets that they've set.

With pressure on Canada to act, and a verbal game of chicken by our so-called leader, who has tied his slow-footed action with the U.S., oil executives are feeling the heat whenever Harper makes like he's taking glacier-like steps towards doing the will of the people. No doubt, big oil has Harper's ear. But they also know that popular opinion outside Alberta is that we're not doing enough.
Unlike Harper's role model GWB, Canada's prime minister is not afraid to be a divider, not a uniter. He'll be happy to attack Ontario and Quebec just as he stiff-armed Atlantic Canada just because he could. Unfortunately, there's all those votes...

And for a great piece on the CON's choke chain and who's holding it, check out this story.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

PAGING ALAN SMITHEE!


Who's Alan Smithee, you say?
He's the fictitious director whom is called upon to take the credit when a real director, due to usually having had his film cut and edited by a meddling (but occasionally well-intentioned) producer, pulls his name off the picture.
Now that so-called leader Stephen Harper has requested an additional $1.7 Million to cover video and communications budgetary overruns, it's time that Canadians get a say in who should be directing the action* (or non-action, in Copenhagen, Kyoto and any environmentally accountable state)...
Wasting money isn't a problem when its all about Harper's image. Personally, I think the only living director who could keep up with the turns, twists and mounting costs would be Michael Cimino, he of the legendary Heaven's Gate fiasco. But with the way Harper's blown through Canada's surplus, perhaps disaster king Roland Emmerich (who's 2012 has provided a Harperesque apocalypse to the free world) is the man for the job.
Now, if he was still alive, I think the one who's real calling was meant to cover the life and times of Harper and his band of secreters is Edward D. Wood Jr. and his cashmire sweaters -- I'm certain they come in Baird and Moore sizes.
Really, do Canadians know what is going on in Ottawa?

Sunday, December 6, 2009

CREATIVE WRITING...


...or is it another episode of as the leadership turns?
There is no actual evidence to suggest the writer wasn't suffering the consequences of too many acid trips, wants to treat his wife with the Christmas present of a lifetime -- a senate seat for 8* years -- or has a really dull imagination.
While all things Liberal seem to be where the fun stories emerge, one who once believed that journalism was an honourable profession is now full of 'hit-for-hire' scribblers and 'do-anything-for-promotion' mediocrities.
Yes, I know. Whining about the media wasn't chic when they seemed too focused on the CONs and their leadership trivolties; its no more useful these days.
But perhaps a good question for inquisitive and really earnest journalists to ponder is, while Liberals may be questioning their leader's choice to back a policy which could be unpopular among the masses (even though he is being consistent - hey, even I'm on record as saying the Liberals should have opposed the HST), but where is the conscious of the CONservative party and its members these days?
They sit silently in B.C. and Ontario on the HST matter. They ape despicable talking points to slime a high ranking bureaucrat and do not stand up and say they support the Geneva Convention's law against torture.
Instead, they weave their spider's web, redact any and all federal documents that may reveal the truth, and share it only with those who share their rationale that the end always justifies the means. Just don't ask them to stand up and say what that 'mean' is. Perhaps we'll all be happy when Canada really becomes Alberta, services cut to the bone, honest, intelligent debate is rarely welcomed, and money is king, queen and Lord.
So Angelo, where are those men and women who are suppose to represent Canada and Canadians to the best of their abilities?
Paging Dr. Faust...



*actual service time will vary; CON-approved members reserve the right to disavow such a promise should the government on their 8th anniversary be of other than the CON party; or if they just don't want to quit.