Thursday, September 25, 2008


It kind of hit me over the head like a sack of Gerry Ritz; God has gone.

Like that Jar-Jar Binksian Northern Star, He is no longer a member of Harper's homeboys. I don't know if He's been given the Michael Chong treatment or if God has cut his ties with our so-called leader due to irreconcible differences. Maybe God just doesn't make the grade now that Harper is trolling for a majority.

It may have happened a year ago or maybe just a month back; but either way, someone's been dropped like a doobie-smokin' socialist.

Let's be clear, when our CEO of the New Government started using that tagline 'God Bless Canada', I was a trifle uncomfortable. It seemed overly ambitious for us, a nation with oil, minerals, trees and vast tracks of gorgeous coastal regions to want big ol' God to give us more. Maybe, just maybe, God had better things to do, places that really needed his blessing. Plus, it seemed to be something that Jethro Bodine's cousin southside, GWB, would demand between gun club meetings.

The official response from CON Control was that 'God hasn't left, he's still hanging with the Big Guy. He prefers to take a back row seat, that's all.'

That doesn't sound like the God I know. Oh, I'm not inferring that God's a glory hogging showoff. We all know He doesn't care to be the most popular messiah. Matter of fact, from the conversations I've had with Him, and admittedly they've been few and far between, He seemed to be kind of shy, and reminded me of Bob Hartley, no not that guy - this guy. Maybe He was ashamed of being asked to put His stamp of approval on a nation where the Saviour comes in many shapes and spirits - Canada after all is one of the most multicultural countries on the planet.

Then it hit me. God may not like narcissistic liars who treat the 10 commandments like they were some so-called list of Five Priorities. Choosing some and playing 'hide the priority' with the others wouldn't likely go well with the All Mighty.

So I was wondering, where did God draw the line? Was it Thou Shalt Not Make For Yourself an Idol? Or was it You Shall Not Make Wrongful Use of God's Name? Maybe it was You Shall Not Steal? Would his decision to disregard You Shall Not Bear False Witness To Your Neighbour be a deal breaker?

Unless of course it's Harper who's put God on the sidelines. Maybe it didn't mix well with that new image, Mr Relaxation without the talent or compassion, that he's trying to style himself on. Now that the CONs have learned that voters come in all shapes and colours, perhaps God's kind of passe. Oh, Harper will always remember His son's birthday and check in to see that all is Right on the Q-T, but maybe it was so-called leader dude who thought, "well God, time I made like a banana and split. Smell yah later."

But if Harper gets his majority, I'm sure you can guess who he'll be welcoming back with open arms. Yep, front and centre, like ol' times. Right beside Sparrow, Ritz, Bernier and Lukiwski. Hope God has a sense of humour.

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