Friday, February 26, 2010


Meet Andy Radia. He's no one's answer to Rachel Marsden, that's for certain, but he may be one small community newspaper's version of Karnak, a character from the ol' Johnny Carson Tonight Show.
Perhaps he's a faux mystic with the foresight of a bowling ball.
Unfortunately, Andy's not funny, nor nearly as insightful as 30-year-old jokes from a laboured comedy skit.
In today's copy of the Tri-City News, he's scrambling a little behind the times in trying to defend the so-called leader's pro-rogatory holiday.
Andy, who fashions himself as Telly Savalas for the right, doesn't use any new talking points, because after all, the CON handbook depends upon repetition of same-old, same-old until you either surrender or become ambivalent, or both.
"Yada-yada others did it too," says Andy.
He says Bob Rae "shamelessly" used it while premier -- thus questioning his own so-called leader's level of shame in the process.
"Yada-yada coalition of evil," snorts Andy.
Conveniently forgetting this agreement, aren't we, Andy?
"Yada-yada busy agenda for ze big leader," mutters Andy.
Funny, all those items he lists, except the photo op in Haiti where Harper kindly forced Haitian officials to ignore local emergency responsibilities to protect a visiting dignitary who once upon a time couldn't get out of Dodge fast enough to avoid an AIDS convention, kinda sound like things that routinely happen in Ottawa when the session's in.
The defence of Harper's prorogue holiday isn't getting easier. But the defendants are getting lamer.

In honour of the real Karnac, please glance and chortle/smirk/groan through some Carson classics:

A: A loaf of bread, a jug of wine and thou.
Q: Name three things that have yeast.

A: The Nestea Plunge.
Q: What does the president of Nestea use when his toilet is topped up?

A: A, B, C, D, E, F, G.
Q: What were some of the earlier forms of Preparation H?

A: Shoo-be-doo-be-doo.
Q: What do you look for when you're tracking a shoo-be-doo-be?

A: Zippo Marx.
Q: What do you get when something gets caught in your Zippo?

A: Kitchy-kitchy-koo.
Q: What do you call a military coup led by General Kitchy Kitchy?

A: Big Ben, Joe Namath and a candidate's campaign promises.
Q: What is a clock, a jock and a crock.

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