ON THE RUBBER CHICKEN CIRCUIT...

...it's the chicken that pays the price.

Canadians have a right to know, exactly, after spending nearly a hundred thousand dollars on jetting his considerable staff to a foreign country, what's in it for us?

Why take the message to the U.S., when Stephen Harper has failed to give Canadians a clear message at home? Is this the nerdy Canuck version of 'What's it all about, Alfie?'?

Is it just puffery, part of a grander, self-absorbed strategy, or another piece of image consulting by nerds?

After being dissed by Fox and it's lame right-wing schlock jocks just over a week ago, Canada got to watch Stephen Harper play 20-questions to their journalist de jour. Somehow, there was little time to sell Canada to the American audience as a place to invest, visit, or merely escape the foreclosure of their neighbourhoods. Instead, Harper was used by the right-wing punch card reader in an attempt to make President Obama look bad.

Haven't you been down that road already, Mr Prime Minister?

Not withstanding the economic downturn we've currently found ourselves in, couldn't our so-called leader have found a better place to make a cameo, like on Judge Judy?

Smarter minds than mine are getting to the crux of Harper's strange road trip.

POP-POP, FIZZ-FIZZ...

Apparently, this advertisement is brought to you by Stimulus to be announced...

Like so much hot air, it's meant to lull Canadians into feeling a sense of confidence despite no relation to a plan, or having to deliver some goods. Announcements for the sake of hearing the seals clap. White noise that will translate into good feelings come some later date.

Without having the authority to spend the proverbial Tory 'red-cent', Stephen Harper has been on a bit of a spree lately. Can't you feel the stimulus whipping up positive vibes and job opportunities aplenty? Well, if you're beneficiary of their media buy, perhaps those Harper plug nickels (coming soon - Harper huts, four corrogated walls for the homeless!) are helping keep you afloat. Certainly the struggling dinosaurs of the media business are thankful for many of these flotation devices labeled 'Building Bridges'. Sounds better than the message they worked on in the first few years as Canada's New Government - 'Burning Bridges.'

It's nothing new from Harper, who even in relatively good times (which is the best you can expect during Tory times), has decided a key principle to staying popular is in the selling of their message, as opposed to governing. With this talentless and surly crew, the Spin is Job One.

And with the most recent news that not even the so-called economist* is getting a bounce from playing leader of a Tide commercial-like spendathon, perhaps they'll open up that genie they've been known to rely upon?

CREDIT WHERE CREDIT'S DUE...

Stephen Harper did his March tour of the US television news shows and was all about putting the record straight:

"Thanks to the decisions of Jean Chretien and Paul Martin, Canada's economy and banking system remains on solid ground. Me, well, I did stay at Holiday Inn...."

RUPERT AND THE DANCING BEAR...

It's not a new children's story, although it features plenty of juvenile delinquent-like characters. The CON bench is strategically playing their games, greasing the slush machine to fill every crack, spark as many ribbon-cutting events as possible.

That aside, they are again dancing carefully between their covert secret agenda and appearing like polished, nearly-professional servants. For example, they were standing up loud and clear when it came to slapping down the late-night cartoon cretins from Fox's lamentable Red Eye show, who jested that Canada's soldiers needed time "to do some yoga, paint landscapes, run on the beach in gorgeous white capri pants."

It proved to be a great distractor from the current economic and fuddle-duddle that continues to stick to Stephen Harper and his government's boots.

Funny that, one of the rare exclusive interviews just over a month ago Harper granted, where he made one of those well-timed 'addressing the nation' news-drops (despite the fact that he presides over Canada, not the US) was for Fox. "We haven't had to bail out any of our financial institutions" the so-called leader said, conveniently forgetting this.

And who did he have time to meet in New York on that recent jaunt? Perhaps Glen Sather, an expert on trying to live off yesterday's achievements (at least Glen accomplished his; Harper's 'crowning glories' didn't even happen under a CONserfative administration). Maybe Rupert Everett in Blithe Spirit? Nope, it was none other than Rupert Murdoch, he of Blighted Spam.

And coincidentally, the rumours of a 'bail-out' package for a few chosen private broadcasters has been the talk of Ottawa -- along with the slow, restless smothering of the Mother Corp.

What's a newscaster/reporter to do? While the bungling management teams and sinking advertising dollars are reducing the industry to that of town crier, it's unlikely that the media will truly delve past the surface, lest they offend the current bosses.

So on one hand, you have Harper and his band tightly winding the rules to let in the likes of Faux News, hoping that they can work their 'dumbing-down' magic on the Canadian public. On the other, CON seals are up and about denouncing a Fox program for the quick 10-second TV clips at home.

Of course, it's the same faux news outlet that Harper ran to back in 2003 when he tried to sell John Howard's speech as the general sentiment among Canadian public. Nope, we haven't heard an apology for that fib, either.

TRIGGER FINGER...

So Stephen Harper is angrin' up the true-blues blood and telling them to demand that MPs support the dismantling of the federal Gun Registry?

No doubt just starving the department in charge of registering long guns and eliminating penalties for non-compliance haven't done the job -- or anything else the so-called leader could concoct in three years as Prime Minister.

Yep, I guess those who favour private member's bill C-301 should first contact the misguided police association, who seem to think registering a firearm could prevent problems and help them do their job. I bet those silly police chiefs don't even think MPs should promote the distribution of a cool handgun, either. Let it be said that not all long-gun owners and fans are crazed, unstable and dangerous. It only takes one, or two, or three rotten apples to ruin a crateful. But why should we force the heavy burden of registration on all gun owners just because of the occasional criminal, often murderous, act? Well, they were criminals after they killed, so thus, not part of the 'law-abiding' long gun majority.

In the winter time, he was trying to spark a unity crisis, in the spring its incite anger amongst gun owners. Uniting people for the purpose of being bitter and angry. That's some way to win over Canadians' hearts and minds.

Apparently, I can see why Jason Kenney was so against letting a British MP from coming here with crazy ideas and possibly fuel support of hatred. His leader doesn't like the competition...

FINGER IN THE WIND...

Boy, that Stephen Harper calls it right again.
The economic forecasts have been "so all over the map and individuals have changed their own forecasts so quickly."

Again, Harper has his finger on the pulse, which reminds me:

SPIN THE SPIN...

Stephen Harper was no doubt the spotlight speaker at the Manning Institute for Democracy's fundraiser on Thursday.

The MID, often referred as a right-wing think tank, although you're more likely to find more 'tanking' than 'thinking' among that group, was eager to lap up the comedic stylings of Canada's greatest cheerleader, Ben Grimm.

Bernie Mac and Rodney Dangerfield were previously engaged.

The guy who has elevated government spending to a new artform, finding such frilly expenditures as focus groups, maximizing the 10-percenters for partisan fun-and-games, skilful vote buying in Quebec and select regions, pissing away the country's rainy-day fund, and breaking his own fixed election date law to 'freshen up' that disfunctional House he works in? Tearing a strip off our American neighbour for their right-wing governance and lifestyles? No doubt, people who have a house and a wife and a hammer and reckless grip on reality may have thought Stephen Harper's following comments had no irony at all.

“We are in a global recession principally — and we have to face this — because a lot of people on Wall Street, because of a lot of people in the private sector more generally — homeowners or consumers — pushed or bought into a very unconservative idea:That they could live beyond their means,” Mr. Harper said.

Yes, there certainly is plenty of evidence about free-spending governments that dates well before the current 'economic downturn'. Darn those liberal governments!