DUMB AND DUMBER...

Of course, it doesn't matter who's dating who, or who lays with whom.
Because as we've seen before, it's fine if our close friends and advisors may have suggested bribing a dying man, or slagged protestors who don't fancy my 'ack!-ountability'; gave the cold shoulder to people suffering from an incurable disease because they talk out of turn; heck, my team may have even fudged heavily on election rules so as to get some free taxpayers' monies.
But let the bra-less squeeze tell-all on TV that she saw your briefs, well, then my so-called feckless leader has a problem.

Have a Jos. Louis, PM?

WHO'S PLAYING CHESS NOW?

Ah, like the fortunes that are told through the tarot cards, the Stephane Dion strategy is becoming clearer.
Floating a trial balloon isn't a new concept, but seeing an opposition party do it is fairly unique. It's typically the bailiwick of a government -- like Harper and his magically mysterious defence strategy. It allows for the party to stake claim to an issue and an action without painting itself completely into a corner. On more than a few occasions, governments have overshot their policies, heard the outcries, and quickly averted complete catastrophe. However, by attaching his flag to a carbon tax proposal, there are negative possibilities. Looking too ambitious, or appearing indecisive, for two.
Here in B.C., Gordon Campbell's sudden conversion to a carbon tax action plan has been met with more than a few howls. But the difference is distinct: Campbell is stepping into territory he never campaigned on; Dion is making the issue his own, rightly or wrongly. Like a high-wire act at the ol' circus, the public can't help but be interested in seeing this person reach his destination.
At this stage of the game Dion has little to lose. He's been defined to death through the most savage of means, his obituary was every columnist's sudoku -- so fun they'd do it twice a week and three-times on Sunday. Now, however, he's being given credit at least for having cajones.
From my uncomfortable ledge above the cheap seats, I'm beginning to see a very interesting action plan unfolding.
And it all starts around the reality that Dion is a principled, studious man of integrity. Let's step back to his decision to link unofficially with Lizzy May and the Green Party. Coming from his experience on the environment file, which involved extensive footwork to understand what is at stake, what are the issues and what is the depth of Canadians' concerns, Dion came to a crossroads. Let the Liberal Party stand merely on its record and accomplishments of the past, while relying upon the 'campaign on the left' election strategy, or create a new box outside the box.
He witnessed the breadth of the environmental movement, the drastic sea-change required to alter what he (and most scientists) sees as a global crisis, and Dion embraced a proactive risk. By standing with May and the Greens, the undercurrent among passionate, educated environmentally aware voters was that at least Dion 'gets it.' Whether they trust the Liberal party or would accept it, was another step.
That's where the current carbon tax trial balloon lifts off.
It is risky, and people can see that risk as Harper and his Schultzian henchmen try to pop it. And then there's Jack, shouting down the idea of any form of carbon tax, professing regulation as the only pill that can save the patient. He's immediately pushed away 75 per cent of the electorate and virtually every economist right there.
As NdP support bleeds to the Greens, and the CON support begins to melt around the edges with the stickiness of its own hypocrisy and lies, Dion has positioned the Liberals to a place where no other party wants to go.
Come the election -- and God, make it soon! -- those who truly worry about climate change and social justice and the Harper social conservatives, will see someone standing above the rest. He may not be charismatic, he may not be the best orator, he may not even be the most leader-like, but he will have taken a stand on a difficult but vital issue. And that is the definition of a leader.
He has worked hard to create a vision where a coalition of Canadians -- Liberals, Progressive Conservatives, NdPers and Greens -- could find some comfort from the storm. It would lead to a "We'll take those votes back now, Jack" and a "let's work together, Lizzy, and get these things done" mosiac that scares the bejeezus out of Harper and his band of half-wit blowhards.
And while Harper is counting on fooling the Canadian electorate with traps out of the Bush republican playbook, he may just be taking for granted that our nation is keenly aware of what occurred down south. It doesn't mean that we're immune to it, but it may provide more Canadians with the knowledge that the best choice isn't the one that offers free stuff and sunshine.
No, it may just mean that Harper's game of chess will turn into solitaire.

TEARS OF A CLOWN...

Let's just rename the CON's the Pity Party and be done with it.
Of Stephen Harper's traits, some are worse than others. That he seeks to hide them from the public should only cause alarm bells.
How many times can you blame others for your foibles?
When you advertently try to twist the rules to win, you should expect that you may get caught.
Instead, you attempt to scurry around and play favourites, dart down stairs and then tell fant-abulous lies just to blur the facts.
Then you once again impugne a rock-solid Canadian institution, just in hopes that some of the dirt you've cultivated sticks on someone else.
When your lying also means trying to defend taking $700,000 of taxpayers' hard-earned money, then it becomes a scam.
Why don't you just come out and tell the truth, instead of putting wee willie Pierre to be your cry baby?
Canadians aren't buying the crap you're pitching.
Did the Devil make you do it?

CONNECT THE DOTS...

After today's episode of spinorama, where even their friends are having a hard time defending the stair running, question dodging and childish caterwalling, one might be compelled to cut so-called leader Stephen Harper some slack and take his word from the Big Easy...

Except for this slight hitch ...

And this minor boo-boo ... "Harper, 2 other MPs Exceeded Donation Limit" -CBC, Dec 27 2006

... that was followed by this resignation...

Then there was this mish-mash ... nothing says integrity like an 'out-of-court' settlement with a confidentiality clause at the end.

Kind of defeats the purpose of confidentiality when the defacto Prime Minister talks to a reporter on an accusation of bribing a dying man. But hey, he's playing chess, people. We're still playing checkers.

IT'S A MAD, MAD, MAD, MAD COMEDY OF ERRORS...

Abbott and Costello, the Marx Brothers and the Three Stooges would be stars in Stephen Harper's not-so newish northern-starless CONservative government.
But they'd lose the comedy spotlight to Harper's self-satirists.
If you didn't catch the hilarious hijinks, check out Kady's place, or Paul's quick hits, or Aaron's disection of the warrant.
This government has done the impossible: resurrected vaudeville.
You've got bumbling ministers, prat-falling through national and international affairs. A prime minister who, when not fawning over his own image, takes to the alleys to enact the fight scene from From Here To Eternity. Backroom boys offering a lifetime membership to the CON party to a dying member of parliament -- or a million dollar sweepstake winning ticket -- and now the company bigwigs - let's call them chuckles and groan -- running down the fire stairs to avoid the press they thought they could canoodle with a crock 'n bull punch line.
It's apparent now, wading through the evidence uncovered behind CON-EDY Central, that not even the CON's own people were buying all of Harper's bull.
The latest tidbits from the RCMP-aided raid on CON headquarters has turned up ties to one of the few accomplished ministers, and more than a few unaccomplished ones, too. The only person who seems to be free from this stain to date is the non-democratic Michel Fortier. I guess his disinterest in democracy has shielded him from this can of worms.
And it almost makes perfect sense that the main man has darted off for a photo op with the most despised elected official in American history. However, I don't know if being seen besides Harper's American Idol back home is going to help cover up the growing stench of the in-and-out scandal.
Maybe it's time to call in Putin.

COINCIDENTAL PENALTIES...

My, what a fortunate piece of timing this is.
Days after some great video and mounds of ink have been splashed about on the RCMP's attending a raid at the CON head quarters, there is a former Liberal Party member being charged with wrongdoing.
Of course, if one were a blogbot from the CON universe, it would be the kind of timing one would decry as 'deliberate.' A 'set-up.' Oh right, that's only if it shone a light on CON misdoings.
No, that the RCMP laid charges on a Liberal for having ripped off the Liberal Party of $50,000 is likely just an item that came to fruition. All the things likely just fell into place, and as the one RCMP spokesperson was quoted as saying, semi-ominously, "It's highly likely that there will be other charges."
That's nice to hear -- and hopefully the officer was referring to wrongdoers of all stripes. It appears that even after appointing the head of the RCMP, Elections Canada and an ethics commissioner, Stephen Harper still has to read the riot act.
'We're as white as snow,' he might have said, before getting nudged by Captain Multicultural-outreacher Jason Kenney.
Nope, despite already having had his own lies revealed in CON electionary deeds with a former candidate, Harper can still climb up on the white steed and pretend to be Prince Valiant. At least Friday's announcement likely bought him some more time to put the fear of death into his appointed hatchetmen.
Certainly, the charges to Corbeil are not the greatest news the Liberals could hope for after what must have seemed like a banner week. Those 'How falleth Dion' stories and columns ad nauseum had to be put on hold while members of the fifth estate had to turn their gaze to real news.
Although the charge has nothing to do with the Sponsorship Scandal, it is being linked as such. Possibly, Corbeil will have to answer for things on that file too. If it does fall that way, it should only be fair that, for a scandal so tightly wound with the Liberal brand, at least one prominent member or former member of the Liberal Party, should be indicted for it.
You see, it isn't well reported at all that Chuck Guite and Jean Brault are former CONserfative members.
Oh, but back to that lucky CON timing thing.

GENDER NEUTRAL...

Forget about Mr In-Out and the great Liberal Conspiracy. It's pure goose for the gander.
What I'd like to know is why this poll is being played up almost entirely as a 'women's movement'?
Where were the 'gender-specific' headlines when polls showed a solid CON lead, that must of highlighted the "Heavy White Males Give Tories A Boost"?
It's not that I'm suggesting that CP or Decima are targeting Liberal support for dissection, but this kind of quick, misleading analysis certainly creates another boogeyman, or should I say boogey-woman, for those insecure, paranoid Harperoids.
Although Decima's findings, that put the Liberals ahead of CONs by 10% among female voters, is relevant, what it doesn't say is that in most recent federal elections, women have trended Liberal. It's like stating "Children Prefer Puppies to Dentists".
I also find it hilarious that the writer needed to include this conclusion: The Tories are "bedevilled by their failure to attract more support among women voters despite working hard to do so."
Who would have thought cancelling funding for women's centres, setting our environmental goals to the lowest common denominator, squashing universal child care, spending like a drunken sailor on the military, and turning secrecy and bullying into an art form wouldn't win over the ladies?
And if the margin between the two parties is a thin 3% -- the margin of error in most of these snapshots -- what does that say where most men are parking their votes? And with all recent polls that show the two parties nearly neck-n-neck, why haven't the headline writers come out and say another probable conclusion: "Alberta Keeps Tories Afloat"?
The main conclusion I can drum up from this poll is that if you're a single, heterosexual male between the ages 28-50, you should be thinking Liberal. It's way better than doing the CON late-night party-line numbers...